Real holiness doesn't feel like holiness; it just feels like you're dying. It feels like you're losing it. And yet, you're losing it from the center, from a place where all things are One, where you can joyously, graciously let go of it. You know God's doing it when you can smile, when you can trust the letting go.
Richard Rohr, from Letting Go: A Spirituality of Subtraction
This is just wonderful - I think it should be written in huge letters over the doors of churches, and set as a signature in all spiritual directors' emails.
I don't know much, personally, about real holiness, but I do know about feeling like I'm losing it, feeling like I'm dying. And I know this much: the times when I have most felt like that have been the times when I've been most aware, often much later, that God was with me, that his mercy filled every waking moment, and every moment asleep.