SaltSister has a remarkable post, Doubting God, where she shares very honestly her own experience of coming to the utter end of herself, and her ideas about God, and finding that, "The best thing God ever did for me is shoot the world out from under me. When nothing worked any more and I had no reason to believe anybody's fix-it doctrine for anything, the real God appeared in the midst of it. Only the part that was worth believing remained. I don't know how it happened, but I guess that was the last time I ever had major doubts."
You should really read the whole thing, but I can't resist reproducing here her list of 5 things about God. She says:
There are only a few things I really believe about God consistently. Because they are so few, I don't have to wrestle with doctrines about "50 ways to bend God’s arm". Here is what I know:
1. God isn't going to help me build my kingdom. He's going to burn it to the ground and build His own. ("Not I, but Christ.")
2. He leads the blind, not the sighted.
3. Prayer initiated by the Holy Spirit is God's own idea and is always answered with an unqualified "yes".
4. In time, what I don't understand will come to light.
5. If I am destroyed, He will raise me up.
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