Somehow though it's so hard to avoid becoming anxious, however much I may know (and I do know) that I can trust him whatever happens, however apparently hard the circumstances. I know so well that I can trust God implicitly, that all his ways are good and true, and that truly "in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose..." (Romans 8.28 NIV) and yet to let that actually become real in my life and in my reactions is not easy!
"But to one who without works trusts him who justifies the ungodly, [his] faith is reckoned as righteousness..." (Romans 4.5)
Prayer is the only answer - for me, the only way to know God's mercy is real, and that it really does apply to me, that I'm not for some unfathomable reason outside that mercy, unlike the rest of Creation!
St Ignaty Brianchaninov has a wonderful essay on practising the Jesus Prayer, in which he says:
St. Isaac the Syrian put it marvellously: "When you turn to God in prayer,
be in your thoughts as an ant, as a serpent of the earth, like a worm, like a
stuttering child. Do not speak to Him something philosophical or high-sounding,
but approach Him with a child's attitude" (Homily 49). Those who have acquired
genuine prayer experience an ineffable poverty of the spirit when they stand
before the Lord, glorify and praise Him, confess to Him, or present to Him their
entreaties. They feel as if they had turned to nothing, as if they did not
exist. That is natural. For when he who is in prayer experiences the fullness of
the divine presence, of Life Itself, of Life abundant and unfathomable, then his
own life strikes him as a tiny drop in comparison to the boundless ocean. That
is what the righteous and long-suffering Job felt as he attained the height of
spiritual perfection. He felt himself to be dust and ashes; he felt that he was
melting and vanishing as does snow when struck by the sun's burning rays (Job
42:6).
That is the answer, always. Finally in that obscurity of heart is healing, "for you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God." (Colossians 3.3)
1 comment:
Mike, this is the hardest thing for me as well, trusting God in the small everyday things, not in the big ones like eternity or salvation. The answer is just as you say, (Colossians 3.3).
If we treat God as understanding and as near as our next breth, rather than judgemental and 'out there' it is much easier to talk honestly with God about everything, at all times. And then just give up our anxiety into the Presence.
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