The cell of one’s heart…

A brother in Scetis went to ask for a word from Abba Moses and the old man said to him, ‘Go and sit in your cell and your cell will teach you everything.’

From the Catholic Information Network subsite, The Paradise of the Desert Fathers.

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I keep wondering what for us are our cells, if, like so many people of prayer in this century, we are called to a more contemplative life, and yet are not members of a formal religious community, nor vowed to a formal solitary life. I wrote about this earlier, and yet I am no more clear on the matter. I find I need increasingly to look for ways to ‘be on retreat in the midst of a crowd’ as someone memorably remarked in a Facebook comment on a friend’s post.

The formal practice of the Jesus Prayer, sitting for a period quietly repeating the Prayer, ‘Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner…’ often using a Latin rosary or a prayer rope, tends to lead, after a time, to the habit or practice of praying the Prayer – often it feels more like the Prayer praying itself – when one is engaged in other things: walking, perhaps, or some repetitive task. I wonder if allowing this to become more conscious may not be a door into the cell of one’s heart – a place of solitude not so dependent on external conditions as most kinds of contemplative prayer.

Transubstantiation…

This is what Abba Daniel, the Pharanite, said, 'Our Father Abba Arsenius told us of an [old man who had lived a long] life and of simple faith; through his naiveté he was deceived and said, "The bread which we receive is not really the body of Christ, but a symbol. Two old men having learnt that he had uttered this saying, knowing that he was outstanding in his way of life, knew that he had not spoken through malice, but through simplicity. So they came to find him and said, "Father, we have heard a proposition contrary to the faith on the part of someone who says that the bread which we receive is not really the body of Christ, but a symbol." The old man said, "it is I who have said that." Then the old men exhorted him saying, "Do not hold this position, Father, but hold one in conformity with that which the catholic Church has given us. We believe, for our part, that the bread itself is the body of Christ as in the beginning, God formed man in his image, taking the dust of the earth, without anyone being able to say that it is not the image of God, even though it is not seen to be so; thus it is with the bread of which he said that it is his body; and so we believe that it is really the body of Christ." The old man said to them, "As long as I have not been persuaded by the thing itself, I shall not be fully convinced." So they said, "Let us pray God about this mystery throughout the whole of this week and we believe that God will reveal it to us." The old man received this saying with joy and he prayed in these words, "Lord, you know that it is not through malice that I do not believe and so that I may not err through ignorance, reveal this mystery to me, Lord Jesus Christ." The old men returned to their cells and they also prayed God, saying, "Lord Jesus Christ, reveal this mystery to the old man, that he may believe and not lose his reward." God heard both the prayers. At the end of the week they came to church on Sunday and sat all three on the same mat, the old man in the middle. Then their eyes were opened and when the bread was placed on the holy table, there appeared as it were a little child to these three alone. And when the priest put out his hand to break the bread, behold an angel descended from heaven with a sword and poured the child's blood into the chalice. When the priest cut the bread into small pieces, the angel also cut the child in pieces. When they drew near to receive the sacred elements the old man alone received a morsel of bloody flesh. Seeing this he was afraid and cried out, "Lord, I believe that this bread is your flesh and this chalice your blood." Immediately the flesh which he held in his hand became bread, according to the mystery and he took it, giving thanks to God. Then the old men said to him, "God knows human nature and that man cannot eat raw flesh and that is why he has changed his body into bread and his blood into wine, for those who receive it in faith."Then they gave thanks to God for the old man, because he had allowed him not to lose the reward of his labour. So all three returned with joy to their own cells.'

From the Catholic Information Network subsite, The Paradise of the Desert Fathers.

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Sometimes we forget what an extraordinary thing we are part of in the Eucharist. Our Lord said, ‘This is my body, which is given for you,’ and ‘This cup that is poured out for you is the new covenant in my blood…’ not, ‘This might remind you of my body…’ or, ‘This cup symbolises…’ (Luke 22.19-20)

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On the whole, I do not find Christians, outside the catacombs, sufficiently sensible of the conditions. Does anyone have the foggiest idea what sort of power we so blithely invoke? Or, as I suspect, does no one believe a word of it? The churches are children playing on the floor with their chemistry sets, mixing up a batch of TNT to kill a Sunday morning. It is madness to wear ladies’ straw hats and velvet hats to church; we should all be wearing crash helmets. Ushers should issue life preservers and signal flares; they should lash us to our pews…

Annie Dillard, Teaching a Stone to Talk, Harper & Row, 1982

Gentleness and mercy…

While Abba Macarius was praying in his cave in the desert, a hyena suddenly appeared and began to lick his feet and taking him gently by the hem of his tunic, she drew him towards her own cave. He followed her, saying, ‘I wonder what this animal wants me to do?’ When she had led him to her cave, she went in and brought her cubs which had been born blind. He prayed over them and returned them to the hyena with their sight healed. She in turn, by way of thank offering, brought the man the huge skin of a ram and laid it at his feet. He smiled at her as if at a kind person and taking the skin spread it under him…

One of the beloved of Christ who had the gift of mercy used to say, ‘The one who is filled with mercy ought to offer it in the same manner in which he has received it, for such is the mercy of God.’

From the Catholic Information Network subsite, The Paradise of the Desert Fathers.

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As I have tried, very falteringly, to follow Jesus these last 30-odd years, it has gradually been borne in upon me how much of the Christian life is, or should be, simply a matter of gentleness and mercy. However much we may study, meet in fellowship, write, discuss and even pray, unless we grow in gentleness we are not growing more like our Saviour.

I have so very far to go: I am still so prone to anger and to judgement, to defensiveness and assertiveness. Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, a sinner.

Discipline and discipleship…

Wash yourselves; make yourselves clean;
   remove the evil of your doings
   from before my eyes;
cease to do evil,
   learn to do good;
seek justice,
   rescue the oppressed,
defend the orphan,
   plead for the widow.

(Isaiah 1:16-17)

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Discipline follows from being a disciple. It is our effort to do as our Master does. Jesus gave space for the Father to give him what he needed. When you and I are fearful and anxious, we want to take control of our lives... When we follow Jesus we practice a discipline that gives space to let the Father touch us, forgive us and receive us.

Henri Nouwen

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Discipline, by perhaps almost as many within the Church as without it, tends to be seen as the opposite of freedom: as restriction, the enforcement of arbitrary rules, the abnegation of free-will, self-determination and honest thought. Chambers Thesaurus lists it as a synonym of punishment, castigation and strictness.

These things may be so in penal and educational contexts, at least in places. A quite different picture emerges when we read Nouwen’s words quoted above. Following Jesus is, at root, our only discipline, and it is a discipline that sets us free from the endless need to control our lives, defend ourselves, secure ourselves – free from the things we fear and that wake us in the night with chest-constricting worry, or keep us from love because we dare not risk the wounds. As Jesus said himself,

‘Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.’ (Matthew 11.28-30)

Faith, works, and grace…

The roof of any house stands upon the foundations and the rest of the structure. The foundations themselves are laid in order to carry the roof. This is both useful and necessary, for the roof cannot stand without the foundations and the foundations are absolutely useless without the roof – no help to any living creature. In the same way the grace of God is preserved by the practice of the commandments, and the observance of these commandments is laid down like foundations through the gift of God. The grace of the Spirit cannot remain with us without the practice of the commandments, but the practice of the commandments is of no help or advantage to us without the grace of God.

St. Symeon the New Theologian, with thanks to the Balamand Monastery

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Slowly, I have begun to understand the truth of this: the old conflict, so dear to those who are grateful that they are not Catholics, between faith and works, is so neatly subverted here. Of course there is no conflict – and grace is the means by which any appearance of conflict is resolved:

But God, who is rich in mercy, out of the great love with which he loved us even when we were dead through our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness towards us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God… (Ephesians 2.5-8)

I dunno…

Once some of the old men came to Abba Anthony and Abba Joseph was among them. Abba Anthony wanted to test them, and so he began to talk about the Holy Scriptures. He began asking the younger monks the meaning of one text after another and each replied as best he could. But he said to each of them, ‘You have not found the meaning of it yet.’ Then he said to Abba Joseph, ‘What do you say this text means?’ and he answered, ‘I do not know.’ Abba Anthony said, ‘Indeed, only Abba Joseph has found the true way, when he said he did not know.’

From: The Desert of the Heart: Daily Readings with the Desert Fathers ed. Benedicta Ward SLG, Darton Longman & Todd, 1988.

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O Lord, my heart is not lifted up,
   my eyes are not raised too high;
I do not occupy myself with things
   too great and too marvellous for me.
But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
   like a weaned child with its mother;
   my soul is like the weaned child that is with me.

O Israel, hope in the Lord
   from this time on and for evermore.

(Psalm 131)

Carry that weight…

They asked Abba Macarius, ‘How should we pray?’ And the old man replied, ‘There is no need to speak much in prayer; often stretch out your hands and say, “Lord, as you will and as you know, have mercy on me.” But if there is war in your soul, add, “Help me!” and because he knows what we need, he shows mercy on us.’

From: The Desert of the Heart: Daily Readings with the Desert Fathers ed. Benedicta Ward SLG, Darton Longman & Todd, 1988.

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This is the beginning of what we now know as the Jesus Prayer, ‘Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’ The discipline is so simple that our sophisticated minds rebel against it – as no doubt did the minds of many of Macarius’ sophisticated Greek and Egyptian intellectual hearers – but it is simplicity alone that can carry the weight of of our brokenness, and the world’s:

Quick now, here, now, always—
A condition of complete simplicity
(Costing not less than everything)
And all shall be well and
All manner of thing shall be well
When the tongues of flame are in-folded
Into the crowned knot of fire
And the fire and the rose are one.

TS Eliot, Four Quartets: 4, Little Gidding

Avoiding responsibility?

One of the elders said: A monk ought not to inquire how this one acts, or how that one lives. Questions like this take away from prayer, and draw us on to backbiting and chatter. There is nothing better than to keep silent…

One of the elders said: Pray attentively and you will soon straighten out your thoughts.

from Thomas Merton, The Wisdom of the Desert, New Directions Publishing Corp., 1960

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How true this is – increasingly, this Lent, I find I’m being drawn to silence, to stillness, to withdrawing from the busyness of so much of church life. I am fortunate, in having only recently moved to this town, to be relatively free of the kind of commitments I too easily make, and so I’m able to do this without causing too much inconvenience to others. But it is hard, sometimes, because one is inevitably misunderstood, even in the kindest of ways, and it is hard to avoid hurting good people by one’s seeming rejection of things that are, in themselves, perfectly good and useful.

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‘Time after time, the old men brought [Abba Theodore of Pherme] back to Scetis saying, “Do not abandon your role as a deacon.” Abba Theodore said to them, “Let me pray to God so that he may tell me for sure whether I ought to function publicly as a deacon in the liturgy.” This is how he prayed to God: “If it is your will that I should stand in this place, make me sure of it.” A pillar of fire appeared to him, stretching from earth of heaven, and a voice said, “If you can become like this pillar of fire, go and be a deacon.” So he decided against it. He went to church, and the brothers bowed to him and said, “If you don’t want to be a deacon, at least administer the chalice.” But he refused and said, “If you do not leave me alone, I shall leave here for good.” So they left him in peace.’

The instant temptation is to say that figures like this were avoiding responsibility, or setting impossibly high standards to justify their refusal of office… The issue is not about whether or not someone should assume their ‘proper’ responsibilities in the church (or society for that matter); the primary responsibility in the desert is… responsibility for your own and each other’s growth and truthfulness before God.

from Rowan Williams, Silence and Honey Cakes, Medio Media / Lion Books, 2003

The warfare of Lent…

When a man walks in the fear of God he knows no fear, even if he
were to be surrounded by wicked men. He has the fear of God within
him and wears the invincible armour of faith. This makes him strong
and able to take on anything, even things which seem difficult or
impossible to most people. Such a man is like a giant surrounded
by monkeys, or a roaring lion among dogs and foxes. He goes
forward trusting in the Lord and the constancy of his will to
strike and paralyze his foes. He wields the blazing club of the
Word in wisdom.

St. Symeon the New Theologian, The Practical and Theological
Chapters, with thanks to the Balamand Monastery

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Let us charge into the good fight with joy and love without being
afraid of our enemies. Though unseen themselves, they can look at
the face of our soul, and if they see it altered by fear, they
take up arms against us all the more fiercely. For the cunning
creatures have observed that we are scared. So let us take up arms
against them courageously. No one will fight with a resolute
fighter.

St. John Climacus, with thanks to the Balamand Monastery

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I am Patrick, yes a sinner and indeed untaught; yet I am established here in Ireland where I profess myself bishop. I am certain in my heart that "all that I am," I have received from God. So I live among barbarous tribes, a stranger and exile for the love of God…

Before I was humiliated I was like a stone that lies in deep mud, and he who is mighty came and in his compassion raised me up and exalted me very high and placed me on the top of the wall…

St. Patrick

Saving sinners…

God is the life of all free beings. He is the salvation of all, of believers or unbelievers, of the just or the unjust, of the pious or the impious, of those freed from passions or those caught up in them, of monks or those living in the world, of the educated or the illiterate, of the healthy or the sick, of the young or of the very old. He is like the outpouring of light, the glimpse of the sun, or the changes of the weather which are the same for everyone without exception.

Abba Pambo said, “If you have a heart you can be saved.”

From: The Desert of the Heart: Daily Readings with the Desert Fathers ed. Benedicta Ward SLG, Darton Longman & Todd, 1988.

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I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory about to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the children of God;for the creation was subjected to futility, not of its own will but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and will obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. We know that the whole creation has been groaning in labour pains until now;and not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly while we wait for adoption, the redemption of our bodies. For in hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what is seen? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words. And God, who searches the heart, knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. (Romans 8.18-27)

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The saying is sure and worthy of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the foremost. But for that very reason I received mercy, so that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display the utmost patience, making me an example to those who would come to believe in him for eternal life.To the King of the ages, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honour and glory for ever and ever. Amen. (1 Timothy 1.15-17)

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Then Jesus cried aloud: “Whoever believes in me believes not in me but in him who sent me. And whoever sees me sees him who sent me. I have come as light into the world, so that everyone who believes in me should not remain in the darkness. I do not judge anyone who hears my words and does not keep them, for I came not to judge the world, but to save the world. The one who rejects me and does not receive my word has a judge; on the last day the word that I have spoken will serve as judge, for I have not spoken on my own, but the Father who sent me has himself given me a commandment about what to say and what to speak. And I know that his commandment is eternal life. What I speak, therefore, I speak just as the Father has told me…” (John 12.44-50)

Scaring off the demons…

There was an anchorite who was able to banish the demons; and he asked them, “What makes you go away? Is it fasting?”

They replied, “We do not eat or drink.”

“Is it vigils?”

They replied, “We do not sleep.”

“Is it separation from the world?”

“We live in the deserts.”

“What power sends you away then?”

They said, “Nothing can overcome us, but only humility.”

Do you see how humility is victorious over the demons?

Amma Theodora

After praying that God would take away his passions that he might become free from care, Abba John the Dwarf went and told an old man; “I find myself in peace, without an enemy.”

The old man said to him, “Go beseech God to stir up warfare so that you may regain the affliction and humility that you used to have, for it is by warfare that the soul makes progress.”

So he sought God and when warfare came, he no longer prayed that it might be taken away, but said “Lord, give me the strength for the fight.”

Abba Poeman

(Quotes with thanks to The Ecumenical Benedictines of Heartsong Hermitage)

I wonder if this has not something to do with the difficulty I find myself in when I am blessed by God? I pray God will teach me how to live truly in Christ’s own humility this Lent – for it is only so that I will be able to serve him as I am called to do, of that much I am sure!

Fish on dry land…

Abbot Anthony said: Just as fish die if they remain on dry land so monks, remaining away from their cells, or dwelling with men of the world, lose their determination to persevere in solitary prayer. Therefore, just as fish should go back to the sea, so we must return to our cells, lest remaining outside we forget to watch over ourselves interiorly.

from Thomas Merton, The Wisdom of the Desert, New Directions Publishing Corp., 1960

It seems to me that we who do not live in monastic communities, or as formal solitaries, and yet are called to the contemplative life, need to consider very carefully – and Lent is as good a time as any for this exercise – just what constitutes for us our cell, and what constitutes “dwelling with men of the world.” I’m sure that for most of us, “dwelling with men of the world” is something far more subtle than loose living or luxury. It may even be a church community that is for us, however good and nourishing it may be for others, antithetical to the contemplative life.

I expect we shall sometimes be misunderstood – though I am equally certain that we shall meet with love and understanding from often unexpected quarters – but we need to persist, gently, in obedience to God’s call.

It seems that for me at least, this Lent is to be just such a time of discernment. I should be grateful for your prayers as I struggle to make practical sense of God’s increasingly insistent call to draw closer to Christ in prayer and silence.

Pure hope…

We are not perfectly free until we live in pure hope. For when our hope is pure, it no longer trusts exclusively in human and visible means, nor rests in any visible end. He who hopes in God trusts God, Whom he never sees, to bring him to the possession of things that are beyond imagination.

Merton, Thomas, No Man Is An Island (New York: Harcourt, 1955) p.14

…in hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what is seen? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. (Romans 8.24)

Living by Grace...

The roof of any house stands upon the foundations and the rest of the structure. The foundations themselves are laid in order to carry the roof. This is both useful and necessary, for the roof cannot stand without the foundations and the foundations are absolutely useless without the roof – no help to any living creature. In the same way the grace of God is preserved by the practice of the commandments, and the observance of these commandments is laid down like foundations through the gift of God. The grace of the Spirit cannot remain with us without the practice of the commandments, but the practice of the commandments is of no help or advantage to us without the grace of God.

St. Symeon the New Theologian, with thanks to Balamand Monastery

Truly we live by grace, and it is only by grace that we survive at all in our Lord’s calling. Even for the surrender without which we cannot receive grace, we depend upon grace, and upon the prayers of the saints.

On not abusing grace...

A brother asked Abba Poemen, “If I see my brother sin, is it right to say nothing about it?” The old man replied, “Whenever we cover our brother's sin, God will cover ours; whenever we tell people about our brother's guilt, God will do the same about ours.”

From: The Desert of the Heart: Daily Readings with the Desert Fathers ed. Benedicta Ward SLG, Darton Longman & Todd, 1988.

I often think we  abuse the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. If we are trying to follow him, how is it that we think we can withhold from others the grace which he has freely given us, and at such terrible cost?

The acquisition of Christian books…

Epiphanius the Bishop said, “The acquisition of Christian books is necessary for those who can use them; for the very sight of them renders us less inclined to sin, and incites us to believe more firmly in righteousness.”

From: The Desert of the Heart: Daily Readings with the Desert Fathers ed. Benedicta Ward SLG, Darton Longman & Todd, 1988.

At last! The excuse for which I’ve been searching all these years!

But seriously, experience teaches that this is true: even unopened, godly books we have read before stand like silent confessors on our shelves, and turn our hearts again to Christ...

Thomas Merton on Ash Wednesday « Dating God

“Even the darkest moments of the liturgy are filled with joy, and Ash Wednesday, the beginning of the Lenten fast, is a day of happiness, a Christian feast.”

In 1958 Thomas Merton wrote an essay titled, “Ash Wednesday,” which offers a reflection on the relationship between penance and joy found in the celebration of the beginning of Lent and the marking of our foreheads with ashes. Instead of me rambling on and on here today, I thought it would be good to share more from Merton himself. You can read the entire essay in Seasons of Celebration (FSG 1965), 113-124.

“Ash Wednesday is for people who know that it means for their soul to be logged with these icy waters: all of us are such people, if only we can realize it.

“There is confidence everywhere in Ash Wednesday, yet that does not mean unmixed and untroubled security. The confidence of the Christian is always a confidence in spite of darkness and risk, in the presence of peril, with every evidence of possible disaster…

“Once again, Lent is not just a time for squaring conscious accounts: but for realizing what we had perhaps not seen before. The light of Lent is given us to help us with this realization.

“Nevertheless, the liturgy of Ash Wednesday is not focussed on the sinfulness of the penitent but on the mercy of God. The question of sinfulness is raised precisely because this is a day of mercy, and the just do not need a saviour.”

Thomas Merton on Ash Wednesday « Dating God

Ash Wednesday

The way of trust is a movement into obscurity, into the undefined, into ambiguity, not into some predetermined, clearly delineated plan for the future. The next step discloses itself only out of a discernment of God acting in the desert of the present moment. The reality of naked trust is the life of a pilgrim who leaves what is nailed down, obvious, and secure, and walks into the unknown without any rational explanation to justify the decision or guarantee the future.

Brennan Manning, Ruthless Trust, SPCK, r.e. 2006

In God's reign, everything belongs. Even the broken and poor parts; the imperial systems of culture, however, demand 'in' people and 'out' people, victors and victims. Until we have utterly faced this battle in our own soul, we will usually perpetrate it in the outer world of politics and class. Dualistic thinking begins in the soul and moves to the mind and eventually moves to the street. True prayer nips the lie in the bud. It is usually experienced as tears, surrender or forgiveness.

Richard Rohr, Everything Belongs: The Gift of Contemplative Prayer, Crossroad Publishing, 2nd r.e. 2003

The holy Syncletica said, “I think that for those living in community obedience is a greater virtue than chastity, however perfect. Chastity carries within it the danger of pride, but obedience has within it the promise of humility.”

From: The Desert of the Heart: Daily Readings with the Desert Fathers ed. Benedicta Ward SLG, Darton Longman & Todd, 1988.

Living into a new way of thinking…

The second point I would like to make about the desert fathers and mothers is that they did not see Christianity as a set of propositions to be agreed upon, because there were no propositions yet—just the Scriptures.  Most were not even aware of the soon to come “Creeds” of the church, even less the “seven” sacraments, which would be centuries in the making.  By today’s criteria, one wonders how they could even be saved!

For them, Christianity was not something that was taught nearly as much as it was “caught”—by lifestyle itself!  This continued as the “Catholic” form of evangelization for centuries to come.  Not preachers on street corners as much as going into a new area and building a loving community that shared, lived “beautifully” on the land, and did not seek wealth or status.  Eventually, that whole area of Austria, or Italy, or Belgium would be Christian!  This can be historically proven.

The desert period knew that you did not think yourself into a new way of living, but you lived yourself into a new way of thinking.  Let’s allow ourselves this Lent to seek new life settings for ourselves, much more than new ideas to discuss and shelve.

Richard Rohr, February 2011
Adapted from The Sayings of the Desert Fathers (1975),
with permission of Cistercian Publications, and
The Wisdom of the Desert, Thomas Merton (1970),
with permission of New Directions Publishing Corp.

Tomorrow I shall, God willing, start to post material from the actual Desert Mothers’ and Fathers’ writings – but this from Richard Rohr was just too good to pass up. I have myself actually found that the only way I have actually managed to change for the better – rare though that may be! – has been by allowing God to change me, through obedience and suffering, rather than by thinking how I ought to change myself.

A Prayer from the Desert

Lord Jesus Christ, whose will all things obey: pardon what I have done and grant that I, a sinner, may sin no more. Lord, I believe that though I do not deserve it, you can cleanse me from all my sins. Lord, I know that man looks upon the face, but you see the heart. Send your Spirit into my inmost being, to take possession of my soul and body. Without you I cannot be saved; with you to protect me, I long for your salvation. And now I ask you for wisdom, deign of your great goodness to help and defend me. Guide my heart, almighty God, that I may remember your presence day and night.

From: The Desert of the Heart: Daily Readings with the Desert Fathers ed. Benedicta Ward SLG, Darton Longman & Todd, 1988. (Now out of print, but you can usually find second-hand copies on Amazon for around £5)

The Way of the Desert

The spirituality of the desert fathers and mothers is a very early form of Christianity which largely refers to the gatherings of very dedicated Christians that took place after 313 AD, when the church allowed itself to be more than a bit co-opted by the Edict of Constantine.  Great numbers of the deeply faithful moved off into Egypt, Syria, Cappadocia (Turkey), and Palestine during this period.  St. Anthony of Egypt, who died around 369, is called the father of monks.  He was a layman and a Coptic Christian.

In 313 AD, the Roman emperor Constantine, perhaps thinking he was doing us a favour, made Christianity into the imperial religion of the Roman Empire; and a whole lot of things changed, frankly because our viewpoint changed—from the bottom looking up, to the top looking down.  The next Councils of the Church were even convened (controlled?) by emperors and not by bishops or Popes.

So as we draw close to Lent, let’s go back to some of this primitive Christianity before systematic theology and highly centralized/Romanized Christianity had made both its good and bad marks.  The desert fathers and mothers were able to see and know some things that we can not so easily see anymore.  Maybe we need some of their spirit now. 

Richard Rohr, February 2011,
adapted from The Sayings of the Desert Fathers (1975),
with permission of Cistercian Publications, and
The Wisdom of the Desert, Thomas Merton (1970),
with permission of New Directions Publishing Corp.

Starting here, I think I’ll try and follow Rohr’s lead by posting snippets from the Desert Fathers and Mothers throughout Lent – as well as I can manage to keep it up!

No use till we are broken…

The Hebrew people entered the desert feeling themselves a united people, a strong people, and you'd think that perhaps they would have experienced greater strength as they walked through. But no!  They experienced fragmentation and weariness; they experienced divisions among their people. They were not the people they thought they were. The Jewish exodus is a rather perfect metaphor for spirituality.

When all of our idols are taken away, all our securities and defence mechanisms, we find out who we really are. We're so little, so poor, so empty—and a shock to ourselves. But God takes away our shame, and we are eventually able to present ourselves to God poor and humble. Then we find out who we are and who God is for us. That is how an enslaved people became God’s people, Israel.

Richard Rohr, adapted from Radical Grace: Daily Meditations, p. 130, day 140

It’s that shock which breaks us open to the grace and the mercy of Christ, like the tax collector in Luke 18.9-14, who cried out, “God have mercy on me, a sinner!” and was the one who went home with his heart right with God, rather than the self-righteous Pharisee.

Like bread, we are of no use till we are broken…

Swanage Bay

I love this place – I am just so blessed to be living here!

More holey than righteous?

Real holiness doesn’t feel like holiness; it just feels like you’re dying.  It feels like you’re losing it.  And you are!  You are losing the false self, which you foolishly thought was permanent, important, and you!  You know God is doing it in you and with you, when you can even smile, and trust that what you lost is something you did not finally need anyway.

Many of us were taught to say the no without the deep joy of yes.  We were trained just to put up with it and take it on the chin.  Saying no to the self does not necessarily please God or please anybody.  There is too much resentment and self-pity.  When God, by love and freedom, can create a joyous yes inside of you—so much so that you can absorb the usual no’s—then it is God’s full work.  The first might be resentful dieting, the second is spiritual fasting.

Richard Rohr, adapted from Radical Grace: Daily Meditations, p. 334, day 34

I am so grateful for Rohr's words here. I find it all too easy to imagine holiness as a state of having all one’s spiritual ducks in a row, and so I am continually aware of how very far I am from such a state. So much of the time I have felt exactly as Fr. Richard describes – I feel socially inept, spiritually incompetent, as though I am in way over my head in something I don’t even understand.

And yet somewhere, somehow, that “yes” gets said. I don’t know that I am saying it – probably I don’t have what it takes to say it, come to that – and yet it is said.

Regular readers of The Mercy Blog will know that the last couple of years have been difficult at times, and I have not always known where to turn. Underneath it all, though, at some level far deeper than the anxiety and confusion and pain, joy has never stopped, like an underground stream steadily flowing, splashing over unseen rocks, its unceasing song its own light. I know it isn’t me, it could never be me; I’m not like that. Far down below the threshold of understanding God has placed his Spirit in us, and we who love his Son pray in him always, even when he have no idea how to pray: “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes* with sighs too deep for words.”  (Romans 8:26)

How odd that the phrase “prayer and fasting” should lead us by these ways. Yet as Meister Eckhart once said, “God expects but one thing of you, and that is that you should come out of yourself, in so far as you are a created being, and let God be God in you.”